WARNING IT IS NOT PRETTY. CONTINUE READING AT YOUR OWN RISK. BRUTAL HONESTY COMING AT YA.
For quite some time, I have felt the pull to become a mother. I just felt like there was a sweet spirit waiting for us to decide when the time was right. When Kevin graduated, found out he had a job, the time finally felt right for both of us. I'm one of those weirdos that knew they were pregnant almost immediately. I felt this fuzzy feeling in my gut, little twinges here and there, and I just felt different. I snuck a pregnancy test home, took it, and I was planning to tell Kevin in a really cute and fun way. Well, that didn't work out too well because I was just way too excited and blurted it out. I told him to come look at the test and his response was, 'What does two lines mean?' We were both shell shocked, that's for sure.
The next week flew by and I was feeling great and I was so, so happy. Then BAM week 5 hit me like a freaking freight train. Constant nausea from sunrise to sunset, and fatigue like I've never felt before. I would wake up, make myself a piece of toast, go fetal on the couch and take a bite every ten minutes. Then I would drag myself to the shower, which was the most exhausting thing on the planet, and then go back to the couch to rest. I would pack up my unfinished toast, drive to work, and try my very best to actually finish the entire piece of toast before lunch time came around. I never wanted food. EVER. It was awful. The worst part was feeling so incredibly alone. Since I wasn't throwing up at this point, I talked myself into thinking that this was minor morning sickness and I should be handling it better. I was really hard on myself. There were times when I would come home from work, go back to fetal on the couch, and then walk and collapse to take breaks on my way to the kitchen and/or crawl to the kitchen because I knew I needed food.
I went to my first doctors appointment during my 8th week and saw the little glimmer of a beating heart. What a beautiful sight! My sweet doctor took one look at me (and the number on the scale), and immediately put me on some medicine. I am so grateful for Diclegis. I still felt like crap, but I could actually eat my toast in a half hour instead of 3 hours. BUT around 9.5 weeks the vomiting came. I am lucky that I would rarely throw up at work. I have this weird super hero power where I could hold it together until literally the minute I got home from work. I did some crazy breathing exercises to make it through rush hour traffic, yelled at some idiot drivers, (just to myself, but my road rage was outta control), and cursed to myself driving down 2700 south. WHY CAN'T SOMEONE FIX THAT ROAD? I would walk through the door and start gagging, and then continue throwing up until I went to bed. (I told you it wasn't pretty.) The only time I felt good was when I was asleep.
There is a light at the end of the puking tunnel, and even though I still feel sick most of the time, it is much better. The first trimester sucked. Big time. Thank goodness for sympathetic family, good friends, understanding bosses, a sweet husband, chocolate milk, bagels, strawberries, and smoothies, and so many jolly ranchers. I survived.
I know it's no laughing matter... But I laughed out loud when I saw your pictures. I also curse when I drive down 2700 south. So glad you are feeing better!
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